Sunday, January 01, 2006

Sex in Buddhism: To avoid or not to avoid

The scriptures say:

"If the mind is transformed by phenomena, that makes us sentient beings.
If phenomena is transformed by the mind, then we are no different from the Tathagatas."

In the conventional Buddhist view, we are taught to shun sensual objects like sex, wealth & power etc. for their impermanant & corrupting nature. That is fine & good for treating people who has a strong craving to these objects, but the problem comes when they start to cling to the very Dhamma that frees them from such craving. They become dogmatic and mistakenly believe that only the total elimination of sensual craving can lead them to Nibbana. But in actual fact, they have strayed from the Dhamma and because of their clinging, their true mind is still obscured by Avijja or fundamental ignorance. Most Savaka practitioners fall into this category.

But in reality, abstinence & indulgence are 2 sides of the same coin. If one cannot see through this duality, then neither choice can lead you to enlightenment. To have sex or not to have sex is not relevant in the highest Dhamma - because in the absence both craving & aversion, all physical activities are enlightened in the first place. In this case, rather than saying we are part of the sensual world, it is more appropriate to say the sensual world is part of us - part of enlightenment.

Some will say that I abstain from impure sensual pleasures to seek the pure pleasure of meditation, or Jhana. But even though the pleasure of Jhana is not of a physical sensual nature, but it is still pleasure, albeit a mental kind. But this is still not the highest pleasure; for the mind, consisting of the 4 aggregates, is unreal in itself. Frankly speaking, in terms of unreality, there's no difference btw sensual & jhanic pleasure. Such being their nature, what is there to avoid or grasp to?

Just as clinging to sensual pleasure binds one to the realm of desire, they forget that clinging to jhanic pleasure binds u to the realm of form, or if one attains the immaterial jhanas, the realm of formlessness. If a practitioner abandons sensual pleasure, only to pursue jhanic pleasure, he still has not gone beyond the 3 realms, beyond Samsara. If one says that external sense objects are impermanant & suffering, then does that mean that such internal mental states are somehow permanant & pleasurable? Therefore understand that it is not the avoidance of pleasure, sensual or otherwise, that leads one to enlightenment, but rather transcending it, seeing that it is fundamentally empty like all things. It is for this reason that Ven Shariputra was scoffed at by Vimalakirti when he sat in meditation. Some will argue that one who has cut off craving will not want to have sex or even talk abt it; but that is the Savaka & Pacceka path, not the Bodhisatta path. A Bodhisatta, unlike the Savakas & Paccekas, has not totally cut off the roots of craving, because it is necessary to use it on the path to Buddhahood. Although he does not crave for sex, he is not averse to it either. When it is necessary, he will use this craving for the benefit of all sentient beings. That means that he can have sex, yet remaining totally unmoved in his mind. Only one who has realized the Unborn Dhamma can perform such a feat.

In the Avatamsaka Sutra there is one such Bodhisatta. She appears as a courtesan, enticing sentient beings prone to craving with her great beauty, then leading them to the Dhamma after they were hooked. And how do u think the Bodhisatta took birth in Queen Maya's womb? By using this very same root of craving! But does that mean that the Bodhisatta is by any means impure? No, because it is merely a tool of the Buddha-nature.

Sex is not impure & dirty; impurity & flith exists only in the deluded mind. If one thing is impure, all things are also impure. If delusion is no more, one thing is pure and all things also become pure. Nothing is increased or decreased; the Buddha-nature remains the same as before. This is the heart of Mahayana, do you understand?

To see the mind that is beyond pleasure & suffering, that is the highest pleasure; that is the bliss of Nibbana.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Peace,
Konchog Yeshe

Anonymous said...

You mentioned "Some will argue that one who has cut off craving will not want to have sex or even talk abt it; but that is the Savaka & Pacceka path, not the Bodhisatta path."

I regard cutting off from craving and sex as the Buddha's path. The Savakas being the closest noble disciples of the Buddha follows his example.

The Bodhisatta when reaching Buddhahood too will adopt the noble custom of having no interest and avoiding sex, this is the characteristics of all Buddhas.

Thanks for the blog. I have enjoyed reading your blog.

hoangkybactien said...

"But in reality, abstinence & indulgence are 2 sides of the same coin. If one cannot see through this duality, then neither choice can lead you to enlightenment. To have sex or not to have sex is not relevant in the highest Dhamma - because in the absence both craving & aversion, all physical activities are enlightened in the first place. In this case, rather than saying we are part of the sensual world, it is more appropriate to say the sensual world is part of us - part of enlightenment." -Wayne

===

This is obviously a defilement. A wrong view!

Sex is conditional, meaning it is not an intrinsic characteristics of our buddha nature. But rather, a deeply rooted bad habit through endless life cycles, and is the most destructive habit if it goes out of hand. Because it is conditional it can be eradicated, extinct.

Unlike smoking, drinking, and gambling which require relatively less personal efforts to eradicate, sex desire requires more mental power to keep it from getting out of hand.

It is the mother of all poisons. It is the mother that give birth to samsara that we're living in today.

But thank to mother nature, the lush for it becomes, generally, less and less demanding as one gets older and older. So do other desires.

Due to the power of samadhi in previous lives, the desire for sex in some people does not arise naturally, or arise very little.
In other words, the intensity of desiring for sex varies in each individual, depending on his/her habit and efforts in taming it in previous lives.

But it is obvious to everyone that it is very hard to cut it off immidiately. But rather, one should handle it with the same vigilant effort as one would handle a grenade in hand!

Moderation is the best policy here for lay people.

As for people who want to join the shanga, he/she should contemplate about it (sex desire) for a few year before making a dicision.

The Buddha himself and the Sixth Patriarch (of course, there are many more noble ones) already set perfect examples for everyone to see and follow.

The power of samadhi is like the heat of the sun. As practioners go deeper and longer in samadhi, all desires would be melted away. At that moment, one would realize the meaning of the Sixth Patriarch's famous saying: "Who would have thought that the essence of mind is intrinsically pure? Who would have thought that the Essence of Mind is intrinsically free from becoming or annihilation! Who would have thought that the Essence of Mind is intrinsically self-sufficient! Who would have thought that the Essence of Mind is intrinsically free from change! Who would have thought that all things are the manifestation of the Essence of Mind!"

Lastly, sex desire is a very good yard-stick for measuring one own progress. If it becomes less and less demanding, one made good progress; otherwise, one did not make any progress at all!